Alice made hummus this weekend. Hummus is that smashed chick pea shit. I like it though. It was really good but damn was it garlicky. Alice said she only put in three cloves but she had been drinking and I think she lost count at one point and put in closer to 19. It was so garlicky, it burned. So Alice added more smashed chick peas and olive oil. I got to tell you though, I had some on Saturday and I was afraid my breath would still stink on Monday when I went to work. I'm chewing gum as we speak to combat the problem because I'm considerate that way.

I've ranted about bad breath at work before. But I'm thinking of making an exception for me. If my garlic breath will keep away my co-workers, aka the scum, I will be eating a lot of Alice's hummus in the future. That's how much I loathe these people. If they only knew.

I also found this recipe for deep fried garlic that I think I'll try. Hell, anything deep fried is good, why not garlic. All you do is take a head of garlic and pull apart all the cloves and then boil them in water for 3-4 minutes. The more you boil them, the more mild the flavor but if you overcook them they'll turn to mush. Then you make a beer batter - I don't have that recipe just look it up. Hint - there's beer in it. Then toss the cloves in the batter and deep fry them.

By the way, I don't watch Emeril Lagasse anymore because of garlic. He acts like it's a new food that he just discovered. My family has been eating it for a hundred years. I grew up on garlic. All of sudden Emeril comes along and makes a big deal out of it. If I hear him 'kick it up a notch' one more time because he's adding two cloves of garlic to a pasta dish, like it's a huge deal, I'm going to put one of my testicles in a garlic press.

Garlic - it's what keeps annoying co-workers away!